Me...that's all I have to give

Lately I have had a great song by Faith Hill come to mind.

Me
That's all I have to give
What you get is what you see, yeah
No second guessing, no pretending
All I ever have to be is me

This is who I am...while I believe that of course people change and grow there are fundamental things embedded within us that at the age of 25 just aren't really going anywhere. I enjoy being me. I know I have little quirks and some might say that a few of them are pretty strange but I like them. I am proud of how far I have come in my life and where I am. 2010 was the hardest year of my entire life-this is my journal so I am going to share-if you don't want to know then stop reading now. While there were many good things that happened in 2010 I also went through some rough times. In January my little and only brother died-it was a shock and caused/causes much heartache and sorrow. February and March brought many medical tests and even a sleep study-they still can't figure out what is wrong with me :). April and May I finished my first year of teaching and had to say goodbye to some of the best teachers I have ever met-knowing that I was going to a new school-I was leaving elementary and going to the middle school-it was a hard thought to swallow-I was going from a school with 4 classrooms just like mine to me being the only teacher at a school teaching students with disabilities. (on a side note it is a wonderful school and I am enjoying being here and excited to stay next year). June brought a surgery for my mom. July was Chelsi's (my baby sister) turn to have surgery-should have been a routine tonsillectomy but it wasn't-she did well while in surgery and in recovery-2 days after being sent home her body decided that the medication prescribed to her was too much and her lungs collapsed-my mom found her unconscious and not breathing and called 911. Chelsi spent a few days in the hospital and is now doing fine but gave us all a good scare. August came and I further prepared for the school year. On August 24 (what would be my 2nd day of school) I received a phone call at 1:30 in the morning from my mom to let me know that Karli (sister just younger than me) had been in a car accident and was injured pretty badly. Karli ended up breaking lots of bones and was in the hospital for several weeks and a hospital bed in my parents home for several months. We call her bionic woman now and tell her she is quite "screwed". She has worked very hard on rehabilitation and is walking and back to work now but she also gave us a really big scare. September came and Josh and I separated. I don't think this is the forum to discuss the details and really it isn't anyone's business-but it was a hard time and not something anyone wants to go through. The next few months brought rough times at work and struggling with students and their behaviors. Teaching special education is something I am very passionate about and I love-that love was tested this year. There are small things that added up to make a more difficult year but these are the biggies.

BUT I survived. I am still here and I am still happy. I learned so many things about myself over the last year or so. I am able to see that and able to see growth. I hope to be able to keep that up. I am learning more and more how much I love teaching and love the amazing students that I get to work with. I feel blessed that parents entrust their children to me and allow me to try and help them grow. I am excited to be able to stay at the same school next year and even keep the bulk of my students. While I may be stuck in my ways in some things I see changes coming. I have a hope for the future and can't wait to see what it will bring me. Hopefully I will keep this updated more than I did before. Thanks for sticking around to read all this!